I Should've Got the Damn Rope
by PooShark
Summary: Another view on what happened at the last scene where Miranda retrieves the Index. Hillarity ensues. Hopefully. T for twisted jokes. Review at thy peril.


**AN: **This will only be fully understood if you've played Halo 2 and watched the cutscene after "10,000 years war". If you haven't then, well, try to enjoy it anyway. Try.

**Disclaimer: All the characters in this are not mine, etcetcetc. Grunts are hot.**

There it was, within her grasp.

The Index.

Miranda Keyes had never felt such anxiousness and excitement in her entire life. Slowly but gently she lowered her hand and grasped it. It was not short, yet not long. It was not warm, yet not cold. It was not smooth, yet not rough. But enough with the comparisons. She just held the damn thing.

"Gotcha."

It was at that moment that the tentacle that was obviously connected to an organism moved and her grip on it slipped.

"Perhaps I should have used that rope in the corner instead of killing myself." She didn't notice the situation that she was in. Obviously.

As she began to fall, she felt a sharp jerk at her arm and knew at that moment that she had been saved. But by who? Could it be that her Prince Charming on his trusty steed had finally come, or, in modern terms, her SPARTAN 117 on his trusty column of Scorpions?

She looked at her savior.

"You know, your father never asked me for help either!"

Shit.

It was Johnson.

She should've taken the fall.

Johnson tugged her up to safe ground and Miranda sighed. Whether it was a sigh of disappointment or a sigh of relief the world will never know.

Johnson looked at Miranda with the same constipated look that he always had, except for when he was actually constipated, at which he would make a face of utter glee. "Crap, that was her ARM I caught? I thought I copped a feel of her che-"

Miranda eyed Johnson suspiciously. "The Index is secure."

Johnson looked upset and turned away.

"McKenzie, Perez! How's our exit? You hear me Marines? We got trouble!"

He looked at the entrance to the mechanical graveyard. Looked clear enough. Not like it made difference anyway, as Bungie made him and Miranda invincible much to the game player's dismay.

But he might as well check.

No answer. He readied his battle rifle. He didn't like this.

"I don't like this." He said, to confirm the narrator.

He peered at the entrance and noticed a slight distortion in the background. He opened up, and using all of his skills and expertise as a veteran UNSC soldier he missed every single shot of his thirty-six bullets, got collared, and held in mid-air by his visitor.

"How're you doing." He said in an attempt at a witty insult.

He got a headbutt into his face for his efforts.

It was then that Miranda Keyes decided to attack the intruder, even though that if she had helped the Sergeant they would have probably prevailed together.

"Sergeant! Stay down!" She stated the obvious.

She whisked her Sub-Automatic Machine Guns out of thin air and began firing at the Arbiter. She at least had better aim than Johnson did. The elite's energy shields fizzled as three bullets out of her two dual-wielded SMG clips hit them.

She was screwed. But she had a Plan B.

"Johnson! You all right? Johnson!" But alas, Johnson was still reeling from the pain of having his face bashed in.

And so her plan B went poof.

Okay, now she was screwed.

The Arbiter slapped the guns out of her hands and had the surprise of his life when she was hit by a bolt of lightning and flew into the arms of Tartarus.

"Excellent work, Arbiter. The Hierarchs will be pleased." The Brute Chieftain threw Miranda over his shoulder and placed the Index at his waist.

The Arbiter clutched his arm even though he was completely unharmed.

"The Icon is my responsibility."

"It was your responsibility. Now it is mine."

Several brutes surrounded the Arbiter. The Arbiter looked around. There was no escape. Even though he could use his camouflage and walk right under their noses, there was no escape.

"A bloody fate awaits you and the rest of your incompetent race, and I, Tartarus, Chieftain of the Brutes, will send it to you."

The big monkey raised his big hammer and aimed it at the not-so-big elite.

"When the Prophets learn of this, they will take your head." The Arbiter said.

"When they learn? Ha ha ha," he laughed pathetically. "Fool. They ordered me to do it."

As the Arbiter was a bit thick he only got to the word 'learn' before he was hit by a lightning bolt in the chest.

The blast flung him into the pit that Miranda nearly fell into and he flailed in the air somewhat pitifully as a tentacle rose from the depths of the pit and broke his fall.

And his back too.

And as the black seeped in through the corners of his eyes the Arbiter had his final thoughts before falling unconscious.

"Damn," the Arbiter thought, "I should've taken and used the rope from the corner of the room."


End file.
